Insert Animal, Insert Verb, I Swoon.

Hi-larious photographic viewdinggles of cats from the 1900s

Have you ever seen films and photos from the turn of the 20th century and scoffed at how simple-minded people must have been? Some stereoscopes of cats dressed in people clothes... hours of fun right? Pfft! What would you do, just look at a still photo and laugh to yourself or with friends, and just move onto the next image? What's that about? I bet after the ego stroking remarks you make, you almost feel like their innocence should be revered and respected, because feeling such hubris about your own young mind can only lead to some kind of big gotcha-moment in the near future where our brains melt from all the stimulation, and the ghosts of the past smirk at us beyond the grave, and then we feel so embarrassed...

Well, at the turn of the 21st century, with the progression of the world wide web, decades of Oscar-winning films, and the mores of comedy changing and advancing all the time, some of the most popular and enjoyable videos available are no more intricate or thought provoking than those of the previous century.

10 Pugs Who Look Like Things

Lately I've found myself on Buzzfeed.com at least five times a day. It's really too captivating.  The site is full of very quick, silly, insightful, bits of news and observations, owing much of their material to photos and videos of cute animals. While they have a section of their site dedicated to the squeezy-fuzzyuzums, those images sneak their way into most categories of news and information (much to my delight).

Time to time, as I watch a 5 minute long video of a duck chewing on grass, giggling like a 1 year old with keys dangling in front of them, I will remember my favorite movies: Magnolia, Rushmore, Blue Velvet. I do have a refined palate!  Don't I?

Why am I so enthralled with animals doing such banal things? Take for example the video below, Hamlet the Mini Pig - Goes Down the Stairs. On the very surface, this is a pig walking down the stairs. The dramatic theme is Hamlet's hunger (for that oatmeal) which drives him to defy all odds and go down the stairs. The nuts and bolts of this film, really, is a pig walking down the stairs.
It is one of the best things I have ever seen and it has over 1 million hits on YouTube.



If you liked that, then Baby Turtle eating a raspberry is for you. (Or the more risque, but equally endearing, Tortoise Having Sex With a Shoe, Squeaking).


What it comes down to is, amid all the fast-paced music videos and plot-twisting feature films, it is a timeless fact that humans want to relate to animals. We enjoy seeing animals do things that remind us of ourselves. We can't know what animals are thinking, so when they do something silly, we appreciate the moment as a fluke. That's why I can watch a pig attempt to walk down the stairs for a solid minute. Watching a tiny animal struggle to adapt to a household object humans have mastered is cute. It's cute because the animal has it's situational short-comings, which reminds us of our differences, but their determination is something we both share.
 It warms a place in everyone's heart to see animals living life and trying new things, not just hanging around like a lump. I could sit on my ass and watch that for hours.

Hunting for a Quailty Ghost Show

We all know that reality shows centered around ghosts have been very popular for the past few years. It started with the Ghost Hunters style shows; groups of rag-tag "ghost experts," psychics and mediums having sleep-overs with night-vision cameras. They jump at every sound, and the show's base soundtrack conveniently plays loudly over every sound bite of a ghost supposedly thumping or talking. They never find anything substantial, but how can you believe it at all with the way these shows are edited?

Currently the Unsolved Mysteries style ghost shows have been en vogue. These are allegedly true stories with interviews and reenactments similar to our favorite 1980's thriller, but without a stoic host like Robert Stack or a hotline. The most popular of these shows are My Ghost Story, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Paranormal Witness, and The Haunting. I prefer those shows, because even though there is always a risk of a person making-up the story, at least you have the gorey details straight from the horses mouth,  instead of watching a bunch of fools saying "did you hear that?" for a half hour.

In addition to all the ghost shows you can shake a stick at, there are the survival story shows, the hording shows, and animal rescue shows. I tweeted recently, "When are they going to make I Survived a Ghost Pet and what channel will it be on?" To my surprise, there is something on Animal Planet that loosely follows that description. Simply called The Haunted, this series follows the stories of pet owners who have experienced hauntings. This could be a good niche show if it actually spent a majority of the time focusing on the animal's experience, but it doesn't. It has been said that animals are known to be sensitive to ghosts and spirits, so why not milk that for all it's worth on a station aimed at people who already give a ton of credence to animals' actions?

When I first found this show, I was confused that it was on Animal Planet. There was nothing perceptively animal-centric about this show, until the haunted animal lover mentioned their pet pug was spooked. Here is an example of how generic this show is in an episode description:  

After having unusual experiences in their home, a family calls upon a paranormal team and demonologist to help. When they try to banish the entity from the home, it violently possesses one of the family members, and literally enters her body.

It would be very interesting and appropriate for the possessed "family member" to be a pet, but it is in fact a human woman. I turned on Animal Planet to watch a possessed dog, not a dog that ran under the couch while it's owner's soul was being eaten by a demon. I can watch that on any other channel.

From Paranormal Witness S01E03 The Poltergeist

The Haunted might be the worst, most contrived ghost show, but Paranormal Witness is the best of its kind. Not just focusing on ghosts, you can also hear about UFO's, strange beasts, and unexplainable coincidences. There are reenactments, but they don't hesitate to also use real videos or photos that are evidence of the paranormal experience. Having many witnesses, from different sides of the story, also helps with the credibility of the show.



If I could make my own ghost show I would feature people who actually have photos, videos, audio, etc. of the haunting. There would be no actor reenactments, no spooky music, especially not over recordings. There would be no embelishments; just the truth as the witnesses know it. The problem with the reenactments in these shows is that they are often padded with extra actions the witnesses never mention in the final cut of the interview. Obviously this causes a gullible viewer into thinking the haunting was more remarkable than it may have been, and alienates viewers that are genuinely interested in what actually happened. A stark portrayal with all the evidence layed out should be enough to make your hairs stand up.

I leave you with the question, can shows about "real life" ghost encounters legitimately fall under the documentary category? If there were any topic people could call bull s*#% on in a documentary format, it would be ghosts. Some people would call it a documentary about ghosts, and another group would call it a documentary about people who believe they saw a ghost. I can't say I wholeheartedly believe in spirits, but I want to be convinced with evidence. I will make it a mission of mine to find a convincing documentary about a haunting. If anyone has any recommendations, please leave a reply.