I've Been A Bad, Bad Girl

Fiona Apple's Criminal vs. Miley Cyrus's We Can't Stop

When I saw Miley Cyrus's video for We Can't Stop, I had a case of Deja Vu. There was another epic house party with tons of bodies, pool time, and randomness from 16 years ago. It's a party that has not gone out of style, and I have Fiona Apple's 1997 video for Criminal as evidence.

Criminal is one of those life-changing videos I saw when I was 10 years old. Maybe it chipped away at my innocence a bit, but musically Fiona Apple would become one of my favorite artists. Apple was 20 when this video debuted, as is Cyrus. Watching We Can't Stop, and knowing Miley Cyrus's fan base of tweens, makes me wonder if there's a group of 10 year-old girls watching it and having the same feelings I had over the Criminal video; curiosity over how unsafe everything is, what it's like to be a "grownup." Realizing it's kind of cool to be dangerous. Thinking maybe some day I'll get to be strung out in someones nice house.  

Apple's and Cyrus's respective videos both take place at a wild house party that maybe got a little out of hand. Apple's take is a bit more sinister. She's writhing around, awake when everyone else is asleep, as if wrestling with guilt. The opening line of the song is I've been a bad, bad girl. Other lyrics include Heaven help me for the way I am and I've done wrong and I want to / Suffer for my sins.

The point of Cyrus's song is that the party got out of control and therefore everything went as planned. The song has lyrics such as, We run things, Things don’t run we and It’s our party we can do what we want. It's unapologetic.

Apple's video was directed by Mark Romanek who also directed Closer by Nine Inch Nails, which can explain why it aint no party like a Romanek party cuz a Romanek party has at least a little bit of dread in it.

We Can't Stop  was directed by Diane Martel who has a huge resume including directing credits for - unsurprisingly - Robin Thicke's Blurred Lines, which has a similar usage of taxidermy, stationary bikes, butt-touching, large captions, platform shoes, and product placement.

Despite differing messages in the song lyrics, here are some visual similarities that seem to be the archetypes of a wild music video party.

Let's start with holding the camera on these electrical appliances.

Lay on the floor. Watch your head when you get up, though.

Stretch out your clothes.

Sing just above the water.

Have fun in the pool. ...Or don't, Fiona.

Stuffed animals.

Get freaky in the kitchen.

Hang with your friends. (The 97' version had more photo-taking and less twerking.)

Snuggle up to a shirtless guy with no identity.

It's so tired in here!

Do inexplicable things with food.

Put your fingers in your mouth.

Get creepy.

Misuse the furniture.

Have fun in the bath tub.

Bend your legs, show off our thighs.

Pink goo.

Essentially the same things happen in both videos, but the color pallet and song lyrics change the meaning quite a bit. Both say, "Look at these people carelessly sleeping all over each other." With that visual, Criminal implies the decline of western civilization. Everyone is kind of in a stupor they will probably regret. We Can't Stop tries to depict a group of young people who do weird and provocative things with each other, and yeah, they're probably high on something, but there's a charm to it. Everyone seems to be having fun. Everyone in criminal seems kind of indifferent.

Here are the full videos for your enjoyment.