It was very very hot outside in NYC today: a high of 92°F with 50% humidity. It's the kind of heat that makes me wish I had a pool, or a quality community pool at least. I'm not sure which idea is more realistic in Brooklyn.
In keeping with my summer series of Pete & Pete episode reviews, I'm writing about "Splash Down" a story not just about a pool, but about justice, equality, pranks as protest, authority, and the status quo.
S3E4 - air date October 22, 1995
The setting is the Wellsville Municipal Pool. It's a place described by Big Pete Wrigley - our trusty narrator - as paradise. It's a "chlorinated wonderland." This is a location not really seen in other episodes of the show, though this episode makes it look like the entire town is in attendance every single day of the summer. The only exception to this could be from the special "What We Did on Our Summer Vacation" which features the Splankton Municipal Pool in a short B story. I will get into the details of that episode soon enough.
This anonymous bandit will do what many expect from a public pool patron: they pee in it. Instead of never going back to the public pool, like many real world people would do, the citizens of Wellsville are determined not to let the terrorists win. However, when The Urninator does strike, they make sure to collectively loose their shit over it.
As far as Big Pete is concerned, The Urninator is only half, maybe even a third of his battle this summer. Pete has a job as a lifeguard at the pool, but he's not a senior lifeguard. Head Lifeguard, Matt Uplinger, won't let him forget about it. Matt Uplinger (played by Christopher Cooke) has your typical Pete & Pete bad guy name. Something repulsive sounding that would be pathetic if we knew he wasn't such a jerk.
As head lifeguard Matt gets to sit pretty in the Krebstar 2000 Hydro-Thruster, with "butt friendly no-stick cushions." He drinks coffee because he thinks he's an adult (signs point to this being a farce), and he wears a safari hat for some reason. His aviator sunglasses are reminiscent of those worn by a highway patrolman. Maybe the extra accoutrements signal a smug confidence that he can sit
and lounge knowing the patrons of the pool are safe merely by existing
under his watchful gaze. Everything about Matt's character shows that he thoroughly enjoys being in authority.
Pete does not like Matt Uplinger, but he knows all too well that the only way he can move up the ranks is to stay in his good graces and do what he says. Because of this Pete must clean the pool at the end of each night, and spend the day actively searching for The Urinator.
Matt lets Pete know that he's been dousing the pool with a chemical cleverly named "Wee Wee See" that turns urine bright green in the water. That way they can visually nab the culprit.
Big Pete is not enthusiastic about the process of catching The Urinator. It's an unsavory job, and he can't let his summer crush Lindy (played by Alexandra Adi) know that this gross and lowly task is what he's been assigned. Lucky for him Monica Perling (played by Maris Hudson), a Kreb Scout (think Girl Scout) and fixture of Little Pete's friend group, is determined to head an investigation. Insisting on referring to Big Pete as "Condor" Monica declares that she's on the Pee Patrol. With her swim goggles, thermometer, and an unnerving amount of gusto, Monica disappears underwater. And she tends to come back up and report her findings at inopportune times.
Before long it's clear that Big Pete has another antagonist on his hands. Little Pete, in extreme opposition to Adult Swim, has been staging pranks in protest of the 60 minute segregation. His first attempt to ruin the Adults' time: an electric eel.
This of course leads to Little Pete being "docked" by Matt Uplinger. Matt warns Big Pete that Little Pete gets three docks before he's banned from the pool for the entire summer. While Matt should be fine with this idea in general (why does he care if the kid is gone all summer, better for him right?) he knows that his reputation as a respected authority figure is on the line, so he turns his ire on Big Pete. It is now Big Pete's responsibility to make sure Little Pete doesn't commit any more pranks, or Matt will NEVER allow Pete to become a senior lifeguard.
Little Pete wants Adult Swim to be abolished. It was apparently declared constitutional by the supreme court in 1954.
He believes the pool should be for everyone at all times. Matt Uplinger seems to get off on telling the kids to leave the pool, and introduces the adults like they're celebrities.
Big Pete just wants everything to remain status quo so he can move up
the food chain, impress Lindy, and sit in the
Hydro-Thruster. Clearly Little Pete is a warrior for the little guy, and Big Pete is a cog in the machine.
This episode has three tiers of villain; a villain who negatively affects everyone (The Urinator), a villain who negatively affects Little Pete and his friends (Adult Swim - those who enforce it and benefit from it), and a villain who negatively affects Big Pete personally (Little Pete, but in actually Matt Uplinger).
The next course of action is to distract Little Pete and his accomplice friends, Nona and Wayne. By strapping a Krebshack tape recorder to a dog with the sounds of a Mr. Tastee truck, he gets the kids running far away from the pool.
Side note: Nona F. Mecklenberg, Little Pete's right hand girl, always has a cast on her left arm. This is true for the entire series. The only thing close to a exception to this rule is in the Season 3 episode "Crisis in the Love Zone" where Nona inexplicably removes her cast to rub a metal key over her skin in some kind of brief and secret ASMR ritual. Otherwise, there is no explanation for the cast, and no one brings attention to it.
It's her character quirk, like Little Pete's checkered hat or his tattoo, Petunia.
After going on a wild goose chase that took Little Pete away from a prank that somehow involved a harpoon, he and Nona get thrown from their bike in the woods. Little Pete then sees the dog and knows exactly what is afoot.
On the tape, Little Pete gives Big Pete the message that it's on.
Matt ups the anti and tells Big Pete that if he keeps Little Pete away for the rest of the week, he automatically gets the title of senior life guard. Next up, Little Pete infiltrates Adult Swim by masquerading as a large adult woman.
His goal is to get to the bottom of the pool and unplug the drain. Big Pete gets him with the sucking pool cleaner first. Little Pete is furious, "Didn't we used to be brothers?!"
Little Pete's next move during this scheduled Adult Swim is less subtle, as are the references to Adult Swim's sedate, outdated, and conforming display of synchronized swimming.
He interrupts with a jet ski, and somehow Big Pete is right behind him with his own.
This is it. Little Pete is all out of chances.
Even their parents think Big Pete could be less hard on Little Pete, and use their brotherly bond to come to some kind of agreement. Dad says,"Wrigleys work things out."
Side note: Mom wears a floaty on her head during the entire episode because she famously has a metal plate in her head from a childhood accident. This gives her the power to pick up radio signals, but it also makes her sink like a stone in water. I think it's very cool that the writers added this quirk to her character, normalizing her disability, and making it cool like a superpower.
At the docking zone, Little Pete argues that "all we're asking for is one stinking pool."
Big Pete says, "Things are different now, I'm a life guard." He just can't go along with Little Pete's rebellion. Little Pete says, "No, you're a traitor to all kids everywhere."
Big Pete is at the height of his conflict. He is in direct opposition to his little brother, his goal of being respected at the pool is on the line, and he still has yet to catch The Urinator, which at this point, I'm not surprised if you forgot about.
Ruminating on this as he cleans the pool at night, Big Pete is surprised by Lindy. They have a lovely moment alone, talking about the wonders of swimming at night. The tension is palpable. (V sexy for a kids show).
The moment is cut short by Matt - who might be dating Lindy? He calls her "babe" as he swims over, and they're seemingly having this nightly swim together.
Of course Matt wouldn't hesitate to use this opportunity to shame Pete in front of Lindy, bringing attention to his lower status on the lifeguard crew (which at this point is clearly just Matt and Pete). Lindy does not bother to read into this interaction in anyway. This humiliation makes Big Pete even more determined to achieve senior lifeguard status.
Big Pete is not only ready to enforce Adult Swim, he aggressively calls it.
"Kids, out... Adults, IN."
The hour feels like an eternity, and Big Pete is on edge. It's just too quiet...
With one minute to spare, Matt decides to call Big Pete's victory. But Big Pete knows better. He's skeptical that Little Pete wont strike at the eleventh hour. Matt insists that Big Pete hop on the Hydro-Thruster anyway.
Big Pete accepts it. He relaxes and acknowledges that he's "King of Summer, Master of the pool and Master of my destiny."
With 30 seconds left on the hour, Big Pete does a spit take of his Krebfull-O-Nuts coffee as he spots Little Pete on the diving board.
As Big Pete pleads with Little Pete not to jump, Little Pete's supporters shout "Hail to the Pete" from below.
Little Pete declares, "There are some things worth dying for. You used to know that, you used to care. So go ahead, destroy me. My splash will live on."
The splash is positively Atomic. Everyone is soaked to Little Pete's delight.
Matt is fuming mad, and demands Big Pete "Flush that corn dog right out of here." Big Pete jumps in, making his own splash. He makes an unexpected turn and joins Little Pete in the revelry.
Little Pete's jump caused a "nuclear chain reaction" where everyone, adults and kids alike, were scrambling to show off their skills on the diving board. In the chaos Matt attempts to scold the pool-goers, telling some adults to "act their age."
Clearly pissing with anger, Matt is surrounded by green. He is The Urinator.
Monica, who's been tirelessly working to catch the real villain in this episode, gives her speech, revealing the serial pee-er's motive. It was all that coffee. "You had to go bad. Real bad."
She explains that Matt changed the chemicals so that he would never get caught, but she added the real stuff behind his back.
"You wanna hold your own with the adults, you got to hold it in"
Matt is then publicly shamed. It's unclear what happens to him. All Pete says is, "The evil Urinator was destroyed." Is he fired? Does he never show his face again out of embarrassment? Did they drown him? Is Big Pete in charge now? Not important!
The pool truly became a perfect place that day because the tension caused by Adult Swim was shed and replaced with every citizen of Wellsville celebrating the joys of the pool together. The credits role to "The Monster's Loose" by Polaris.
The people of Wellsville thought they were living their best life; living in fear of a boogeyman, bowing down to some kid in a high chair (who turned out to be said boogeyman), accepting their schedules and segregation. What they learned was that the true paradise came from throwing away the rigidity of their lives and letting loose.
What a refreshing tale!
I also want to take a moment to say I'm featured in an episode of the TeaBD Podcast. As the guest, I picked my topic, The Adventures of Pete & Pete. It's my thing right now.
Click here to listen!
I hope y'all like it! Please like and subscribe to TeaBD on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Matt and Emily talk about teas and have fun guests and topics every. single. week. Seriously, they do not miss a week. It's inspiring to me. And they're both improvisers, so they are funny and have great timing.
There are several - many summer themed episodes of Pete & Pete left for me to write about, and I will be motivated to keep busting them out, so keep tuning in please....
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