There is something macabre about most of my posts, whether it's a documentary about odd people, strange phenomena, campy and nostalgic TV shows, the horrors of mother nature, history, or a catastrophe.
In the spirit of Halloween I compiled the spookiest of my posts. I've dished out a bit of true crime, a bit of horror film dissection, and a touch of the supernatural. Queue
up your Netflix. This list will keep you occupied (and looking over your
shoulder) through All Hallows Eve.
This documentary attempts to lay bare the hidden messages Stanley Kubrick left in his classic horror film The Shining. I recommend watching Room 237 and then take a crack at The Shining after. See if you can spot them all, or start your own Kubrick conspiracy theory!
This is the most viewed post on Consume+Consume. This is probably true because a lot of people are hunting for a quality ghost show by typing this very headline into Google. If you do reach this article in that manner, will your prayers be answered? Click to find out.
Two stunning tales of serial killers from different eras, I paired these two documentaries in a post deemed a "double feature." Cropsey not only discusses the nightmarish string of murders of defenseless mentally challenged children, but also the horrors of the mental health system in the 1970s. H.H. Holmes:America's First Serial Killer tells the tale of a well respected doctor who committed murder to a scale never before seen in the late 1800s. Whether you can stomach both at once is entirely up to you.
We all know that reality shows centered around ghosts have been very popular for the past few years. It started with the Ghost Hunters style shows; groups of rag-tag "ghost experts," psychics and mediums having sleep-overs with night-vision cameras. They jump at every sound, and the show's base soundtrack conveniently plays loudly over every sound bite of a ghost supposedly thumping or talking. They never find anything substantial, but how can you believe it at all with the way these shows are edited?
Currently theUnsolved Mysteries style ghost shows have been en vogue. These are allegedly true stories with interviews and reenactments similar to our favorite 1980's thriller, but without a stoic host like Robert Stack or a hotline. The most popular of these shows are My Ghost Story, Celebrity Ghost Stories, Paranormal Witness, and The Haunting. I prefer those shows, because even though there is always a risk of a person making-up the story, at least you have the gorey details straight from the horses mouth, instead of watching a bunch of fools saying "did you hear that?" for a half hour.
In addition to all the ghost shows you can shake a stick at, there are the survival story shows, the hording shows, and animal rescue shows. I tweeted recently, "When are they going to make I Survived a Ghost Pet and what channel will it be on?" To my surprise, there is something on Animal Planet that loosely follows that description. Simply called The Haunted, this series follows the stories of pet owners who have experienced hauntings. This could be a good niche show if it actually spent a majority of the time focusing on the animal's experience, but it doesn't. It has been said that animals are known to be sensitive to ghosts and spirits, so why not milk that for all it's worth on a station aimed at people who already give a ton of credence to animals' actions?
When I first found this show, I was confused that it was on Animal Planet. There was nothing perceptively animal-centric about this show, until the haunted animal lover mentioned their pet pug was spooked. Here is an example of how generic this show is in an episode description:
After having unusual experiences in their home, a family calls upon a paranormal team and demonologist to help. When they try to banish the entity from the home, it violently possesses one of the family members, and literally enters her body.
It would be very interesting and appropriate for the possessed "family member" to be a pet, but it is in fact a human woman. I turned on Animal Planet to watch a possessed dog, not a dog that ran under the couch while it's owner's soul was being eaten by a demon. I can watch that on any other channel.
From Paranormal Witness S01E03 The Poltergeist
The Haunted might be the worst, most contrived ghost show, but Paranormal Witness is the best of its kind. Not just focusing on ghosts, you can also hear about UFO's, strange beasts, and unexplainable coincidences. There are reenactments, but they don't hesitate to also use real videos or photos that are evidence of the paranormal experience. Having many witnesses, from different sides of the story, also helps with the credibility of the show.
If I could make my own ghost show I would feature people who actually have photos, videos, audio, etc. of the haunting. There would be no actor reenactments, no spooky music, especially not over recordings. There would be no embelishments; just the truth as the witnesses know it. The problem with the reenactments in these shows is that they are often padded with extra actions the witnesses never mention in the final cut of the interview. Obviously this causes a gullible viewer into thinking the haunting was more remarkable than it may have been, and alienates viewers that are genuinely interested in what actually happened. A stark portrayal with all the evidence layed out should be enough to make your hairs stand up.
I leave you with the question, can shows about "real life" ghost encounters legitimately fall under the documentary category? If there were any topic people could call bull s*#% on in a documentary format, it would be ghosts. Some people would call it a documentary about ghosts, and another group would call it a documentary about people who believe they saw a ghost. I can't say I wholeheartedly believe in spirits, but I want to be convinced with evidence. I will make it a mission of mine to find a convincing documentary about a haunting. If anyone has any recommendations, please leave a reply.
Last week I was sick. I was not going to make a post during my bout of viral pinkeye. Instead I watched an inordinate amount of two television programs: Celebrity Ghost Stories and I Survived.... Both shows are made by the Bio network and are remarkably similar in structure. These shows take little effort to watch and follow, so it was like crack to me during my illness.
John Waters on Celebrity Ghost Stories
The format of Celebrity Ghost Stories is a one-sided interview with four B to D range celebrities (think dancing with the stars dancers, VH1 celebriality stars, and surprisingly, nearly the entire cast of the Sopranos). While the celebrity tells their tale of dealing with the paranormal, blurry quickly-cut footage of people who have their matching hair color, reenact the scene. They make scenes from the past or other countries look vaguely accurate, but one can tell it's probably all shot in willing crew-member's property, and the director uses as many diversions as possible. It appears that each reenactment only uses about three minutes of actual footage. The editor loves repeating shots to add emphasis, jiggling photographs of people dressed like ghosts. The best time-eating trick is to nearly explain the whole story over again after every single commercial break.
The show is not scary or creepy to any degree, but it is really entertaining. Every couple of episodes you get a gem, like David Carradine, John Waters, Dave Foley, Tracy Nelson, or Daniel Stern.Stories like theirs keep you sloshing through the muck. The muck is tall tales about entire buildings disappearing, drops in temperature, and departed loved ones saying hello. The aforementioned gems have more layers, history, evidence, terror. Good. Clean. Fun.
Similarly, I Survived... is a one-sided interview with three ordinary people who have survived horrific events. In this scenario, there are no reenactments and only a few still photographs that I can assume are never from the actual scenes. A friend suggested I watch I Survived... as therapy to help with my sensitivity to blood. I Survived... was not difficult for me to watch, but it did help me gain perspective on almost dying (and every episode has at least one person getting their throat slit). Since there are no reenactments, just the person talking, there is nothing to close your eyes over. You just cringe and take it. On the other hand, the recounting of the events is told in such a mater-of-fact way, some of the bloodiest moments have the wind knocked out of them. Maybe it's just their way of coping, and remembering, or that they were in such shock they just didn't feel the pain. While a woman says here attacker's first move was to cut her in the arm, I'm thinking "That's it, that's the wost part". But he actually kidnaps and rapes her for 24 hours, and the fact that she was cut in the arm is never mentioned again. I guess my worst fears are not as crucial in the big picture. It is also depressing as hell. It's a good show to share a cathartic moment with yourself. I subjected myself to hours of these moments.
By what I've said it's obvious you don't actually need to watch the shows closely to get the gist. Listen to it like old time radio... but you'll find yourself needing the shitty ghost footage or a photograph of the bloody hairbrush having the Tim Burns kicked out of it.
It sounds like I hate these shows. Really, I just don't respect them too much. I have fun with them, but we both know we can never have what Breaking Bad and I have.
The truth is, I watched such a marathon of Celebrity Ghost Stories, Hulu asked me to take a break. I wish I had thought to take a screen shot of this pop-up window, but I was all like, never show me this again, no thanks.
Room 237 
VBS Meets... Issei Sagawa
Hunting for a Quality Ghost Show
Nightmares in Red White and Blue
Cropsey and H.H. Holmes: America's First Serial Killer 
