Conspiracy theories can be fun or offensive, depending on how you look
at them. They are either going to fall under the cheesy horror category, like Whitney Houston's death linked to satanism and the Illuminati; a harmless guilty pleasure. Or it could fall under the controversial, like the 911 conspiracy; the kind of thing you don't want to publicly admit you believe. In the case of James Holmes and his mass murder in an Aurora, CO movie theater, it was a surprise to me that anyone had a conspiracy
theory on this to begin with.
Thrown together in August of 2012, Mark Howitt's The James Holmes Conspiracy,
is a roughly edited, comical Power Point presentation with the ultimate goal of promoting the 2nd Amendment.
I was duped into watching this because the doc was listed on a website with legitimate movies and TV shows. Howitt has a Youtube account full of documentaries he's made, and it looks like that's the venue they should remain in. Aside from hokey visuals used to drive points home, most of Howitt's
footage is not even his own. It's a classic Youtube low-fi documentary. He conducts no interviews himself. For five minute blocks at a time other footage is used, from shows like Dateline and FOX News, and I assume other documentaries which Howitt does not cite. Using news footage in a documentary is fine, but these were long unedited
cuts. It appeared this was a rough draft, maybe even just the research
stage, of his documentary. Since it was made only a month after the shootings took place, it is clear there was a sense of urgency to produce it.
Logical progression...
In a nutshell, what Howitt is trying to prove about the Aurora Shootings is that the US Government and whoever controls the banks this week, wanted to accomplish three things: ruin the life of James Holmes, ruin the life of his father, Robert Holmes, and have an excuse to repeal the 2nd Amendment.
James Holmes was a "promising scientific candidate" in the field of neuroscience. The government logically wanted to snuff that candle, so they brainwashed him and endangered the lives of over one hundred people.
Robert Holmes created an algorithm that traces money back to it's source. He was scheduled to testify in the court case of the LIBOR banking scandal. In retaliation, Robert's son was brainwashed, and murdered 12 people, injured 58. As usual this was the best roundabout plan the Illuminati could come up with.
And while the Illuminati are working on their agenda, why not help the overwhelmingly liberal US government use this horrible event as a jumping point for gun law restriction?
Please take note that much of this has been said in complete sarcasm, as I do not think any of these scenarios are possible. If the government is so powerful, why didn't they just murder or brainwash Robert Holmes? Were they bored?
There are so many things wrong with this documentary in style and in
coherence. It might not even be worth reviewing or complaining about. It is what it is I suppose, but still something I want to share regardless. I can only summarize all the flaws; there were just too many. Below are my
favorite screen shots from The James Holmes Conspiracy, to make my point.
Random visual within the first five minutes, great.
This part of the film was hilarious! Bill Clinton standing still for makeup. Spooky.
I hate to burst your bubble, but Illusions of time are not actually time travel. Note the use of the word "illusions."
Lead, Saturn, Time? This Google search is presented to the viewer in order to explain something, but it definitely fails at that. Except we do learn that Holmes trained at Lead Valley Range which of course means... wait, what were we
talking about?
Meant to show that Holmes began to pay less attention to his studies. Doesn't give a S#%T!
Segments of The Manchurian Candidate were rampant in this documentary. I almost forgot that was a fictional movie for a second, and then I realized this entire documentary is fictional anyway, so just throw in whatever movie clips will make your point.
Was Holmes a lone wolf or was there an accomplice? Did he play Majic The
Gathering? These are questions that need to be answered.
Basically played five straight minutes of the Vice documentary about the mind control drug
Scopolamine, where the only visuals Vice had were wide shots of Bogota.
Howitt remarks how the Holmes story is"strangely similar to The Dark Knight Rises. " You are then forced to watch the entire preview without any further analysis.
Despite all this, I do recommend this documentary if only for a laugh, and the few bits of info that are actually thought-provoking. For instance, the extra gas mask found lying in the parking lot of the movie theater: who did it belong to and why was it there? Why did the chief of police skirt questions about the video survalence footage? Those were the only two things I cannot explain. Everything else about this case seems to be the result of a guy that just went off the deep end and used his college grant money to buy a bunch of weapons. I'm sure if you have a clean record and good credit history it's pretty easy to plan a mass murder. That last statement was not sarcastic.
This Halloween was more awkward than usual. October 31st hasn't happened yet, but I'm calling it. Wednesday is a bad day for Halloween because if you're an adult and want to go to parties, they have to be held the weekend before. This means Halloween lasts nearly a week. It sounds good in theory, but the holiday starts with a bang and ends lack luster. To make things worse, we've got some severe weather with hurricane Sandy. The 31st might consist of cleaning up debris, not trick-or-treating.Thankfully the weekend was spared, that is if you weren't pre-panicking and sandbagging yourself in / your party guests out.
It was hard to not look Photoshopped.
Making things more delightfully awkward, I wore another obscure costume this year. Despite knowing well that my costume would be lost on people for so many reasons, I make a costume based on my blog post about Ben Cooper Costumes. With inspiration from Brandon Bird's painting I Am The Night, I wanted to play on the idea that Ben Cooper seemingly made costumes for every imaginable character, however, all still within the scale of mainstream popularity. What would happen if his costumes still dared to be sold in stores? What characters would the company acknowledge for more modern TV series or movies? I chose to honor one of my favorite TV series Twin Peaks, and "dress" as the tragic Laura Palmer.
I used a plastic trash bag, with printed window decals that I designed in Photoshop. I tried to be as cheesy and literal as possible. But I could not for the life of me find a crappy generic mask anywhere! Standards are just too high these days. I wanted to wear a plain blond girl mask, a la Ben Cooper, but last minute I had to craft my own creepy and realistic Laura Palmer mask out of a photo. At least then I was more recognizable -- to those who even knew what Twin Peaks was. And if they did know Twin Peaks, they didn't necessarily know that Ben Cooper costumes existed. Explaining this was a chore and most people were too trashed to understand. I would try and start by explaining my costume was supposed to be bad, but sympathetic drunk girls would interject "No! No! It's ... nice." The pity imposed on me was neutralized by my prowess for obscure TV shows. The jokes on them! ha...
But like I said last year:
"Halloween is about enjoying yourself and being someone different for a
night. It doesn't really matter if people know what my character is, I
just know it will still creep people out. And it's not me, so that's
step one of having a great costume."
One certain victory for this Halloween was my jello shot display. Last year I tried to make these awesome eye balls from Jelly Shot Test Kitchen, however, I didn't have the skillz then, and they weren't worth documenting. Learning from my mistakes, I used most of this My Jello Americans recipe for the whites, added raspberry sauce for the bloodshot-ness, and mini M&Ms for the pupils.
Coconut Rum Eyeballs with Raspberry and Mini Brown M&Ms
My second batch was based on this neat Halloween science trick you can see on My Jello Americans here, and Jelly Shot Test Kitchen here. The Quinine in tonic water glows blue under a black light! I was also inspired by the use of pop rocks in this MJA post. I think my jello was too wet for the pop rocks to stick to the top as intended, but they added a nice sweetness to the tangy vodka tonic.
Vodka Tonic Radioactive Tubs with Pop Rocks.
All in all, despite the awkward set up, Halloween 2012 was a good one.
Happy Halloween!
Back in the 70's kids didn't have to lift a finger or use brain cells for their Halloween costumes. A company called Ben Cooper Inc. made things real simple. Their costumes were both cheap and pop-culturally relevant. One can achieve this by selling plastic smocks with very literal images and designs based on popular characters.
During this golden age of Halloween no effort was needed to make anything convincing. How convincing is wearing a plastic smock that says your character's name? Pretty damn convincing. I really don't think anything else is needed beyond that, but the generous, detail-oriented folks at Ben Cooper Inc. added the likeness of your character right on the smock as well. Bonus: the hair color on your mask was accurate.
The Ben Cooper costume suppressed creativity on so many levels:
1. It discourages kids to gather or design clothing and accessories that define their character.
2. The designers at Ben Cooper could not create beyond the smock or leave much to the imagination.
3. Lazy/Overwhelmed parents couldn't help but buy these costumes to make this arduous holiday easier to handle.
4. It eliminates all discussion.
5. No one involved has to think.
Could this era of shitty, shitty (excuse my French) shitty Halloween costumes be more than just an example of cheap manufacturing? Could this style of costume be used to smother individuality?
If you wore a leather jacket in 1975, I can bet people would think you're the Fonz.
Even when you are the Fonz, you aren't really the Fonz, you are a kid in a plastic bag like everyone else. Put on the leather jacket, slick back your hair and say "Heey!" and you're not really the Fonz, but we get it, it's Halloween. Or you can put on a shirt that says, "The Fonz He-e-y!" and not say a word all night under your suffocating mask. As literal as you are, you are now even further from the truth -- further than we ever thought possible, actually. But here you are, doing it; a costume faking a costume. It's a charade to end all charades!
"Go on, you're Flipper now. Go away kid, ya bother me."
This is how I imagine Halloween went down back in the 70s. Kids insisted on being very specific TV personalities -- like minor characters from spin-offs that have very few discerning characteristics. Ben Cooper Inc. tried their best to oblige, knowing little about the new shows, and wanting to spend as little time and money as possible. With so many characters that pretty much dressed like everyday people, Ben Cooper Inc. at least wanted to create a product that was recognizable. Because a little girl's dream is not to be Shirley from Laverne and Shirley for a night: it's to wear a mask made from the same mold as a blow-up doll.
I think Shirley would wear that.
The painfully obvious costumes sure made things easier for adults answering the door. I guess the real problem with Halloween was that children had been wearing costumes that were too realistic. In this day and age how can you trust opening your door, when the real Chachi could be walking around. I'm glad I can tell who's wearing a costume. They all wear the same shapeless bag, but if it said "COSTUME" on the back too I would feel much better.
I personally won't open the door for anyone unless I see that plastic-y
shine thought the peephole, or if their "trick or treat" is muffled
beyond comprehension behind a claustrophobic mask.
And now I know who
all the kids are being this year without having to talk to them.
I haven't posted for a while, but I figured I'd come back with a bang. Right now I'm going through a bout of writers block, as well as photographer's block. The funny thing about life though, is every so often something lurks about and finds it's way to inspire you. Just like when I went to the Golden Gate Bridge and was reminded of the chilling documentary, The Bridge, in seeing this BuzzFeed post on gorilla marketing for Resident Evil 6, I was reminded of a VICE documentary about Issei Sagawa.
In case you don't know about the food sculptor Sharon Baker and her installation in the Smithfield meat market East London, or Issei Sagawa, here is a visual.
The "Human Flesh Meat Market" looks quite upsetting. I think the flesh is made of Prosciutto. Not sure what the fingers and other "offal" are comprised of.
I had a familiar feeling when seeing images of this installation. I am very sensitive to bodily integrity (not to be confused with BIID in which case I would want to cut my arm off), so seeing dismemberment creates feelings of dread and way too many introspective thoughts; like how much less of myself would I be without these limbs? It was similar to when I first saw the black and white images of Issei Sagawa's victim.
Issei Sagawa is a Japanese man, who in 1981, killed and ate part of a young Dutch woman in Paris. Sagawa was detained in a mental institution, declared insane, and shipped back to Japan after the French public expressed outrage of Sagawa's detainment at their expense. Then he appeared to slip through the cracks of the justice system.
VICE made a short documentary called VICE Meets Issei Sagawa, in which we see Sagawa free as a bird living in Japan, though seemingly trapped in a personal hell. Sagawa explains how cannibalism began as a form of sexual desire as a young boy that escalated into adulthood. While Sagawa claims to attempt remorse to no avail, he simultaneously expresses extreme guilt for being alive, surmising he must be some kind of alien; an abomination.
After Sagawa came back from Paris, his only means of income involved capitalizing on his bizarre crime. Sagawa goes as far as to say "Japanese people nowadays are really stupid" speaking about how he has been asked to write books, make art, and pornography, all exploiting the horrific nature of the incident. Even he understands the depravity of this. What is most disturbing are the videos film makers made of him, making a freak show of his mental issue, making his cannibalism a sick joke, rewarding his irregularity, and concurrently disregarding the gravity of life lost at his hands.
In Vice Meets... you get a glimpse at a pornographic video in which a Japanese adult film actress interacts with Sagawa (he does not eat or harm her), ending with a tearful interview as she reflects on learning of his crime and obsessions. You will be happy to know that even after such an experience this woman has continued to be a "good friend" to Sagawa. I cannot understand her courage, or her motives.
Below is part 1 of VICE Meets Issei Sagawa. This video is NSFW. It is extremely graphic on many levels.
Mitt Romney wants to make America independent from foreign oil by 2020. His plan does not include research on clean energy such as biofuels, solar power, and wind power. Instead he wants to drill and mine more than ever. Apparently this will create more jobs (and I did I mention make us more independent). But what about the effects on the land, the miners and drillers, the people living around the drilling, any progress we have made scientifically to improve our quality of life?
Below is a short documentary from Vice.com's Toxic series called, Toxic: West Virgina, that exposes the dangers of mountain top removal to access coal. It strips the land of topsoil and pollutes the groundwater. That doesn't just effect the wildlife; it hinders community development. Producer, Meredith Danluck writes,
"The companies try to play it off by saying that they’re developing flat
land. On flat land, theoretically, you can put a mall or a Wal-Mart.
But when they do mountaintop removal and make the land flat, the
substructure is so compromised that the things they’ve built have been
condemned. After a couple of years, the walls and plumbing start busting
up because of the structure settling."
You may recognize the host, Derrick Beckles, as the face of the WHUDAFXUP branch of the Truth anti-smoking campaign. Fortunately he's not making any awkward stunts to try and freakout the establishment and make his point, though his snark still lingers. This episode of Toxic interviews real salt-of-the-earth people. If you're turned off by listening to bleeding heart hippies, they are nowhere to be found in this film. Though I have nothing against a good tree-hugging hippie, the message is powerful hearing it from the people who actually live there, and are unfortunately physically suffering as the land is. These are people who are constantly sick from the pollution caused by mining, and made to feel stupid for debating the ills of this business. As a man in the film said "They make fun of your commonsense."
"Right there is what I have to take on a daily basis to stay alive."
It's obvious that what we have going for us isn't working, and if that energy "plan" comes to fruition you can expect ten times what you see in this video. The atrocities these people are experiencing will happen to more people, maybe even you if it hasn't already.
Why can't we all just act like adults? I'm not against the concept, I just don't think it's actually attainable.
All throughout childhood, we are accused of acting like a younger person. "You're acting like a 2-year-old." "Stop acting like a five-year-old" "What are you, twelve?" In high school we say, "This whole thing is so middle school!" In college we say, "Why does this have to be just like high school?" Still during college and well into adulthood we are very often caught saying about someone, "Why can't they just act like an adult about it?"
When I was in middle school - host to some of the cattiest times in a girl's life - my parents told me that I would be lamenting people's immaturity and selfishness throughout my whole life. Basically: It doesn't get better. The concept of being a full-fledged adult appears pretty unreachable,
and expecting it of anyone will lead down a road of constant
disappointment. Especially if you believe once you reach a certain age, it's the time everyone is going to stop doing the things that
always pissed you off.
It was hard to believe, but it is true that some people (not you nor I, of course) will always be (for lack of a better phrase) pieces of total shit from when they are kids until they die. It does get a little better, though. Any high school or middle school teacher can attest, the kids can be remarkably inconsiderate, to say the least. I suppose as a grown person, it becomes more discouraging when the occasional 40 year-old does something that brings you back to the 7th grade. It makes one think, "really? still? now? you? come on." People will do things that we try to characterize as immature; measuring their actions as those made by someone younger and less conscious of the world and how they effect others. While these are characteristics of a many children, most will grow to a good level of thoughtfulness, but some traits unfortunately wont be shaken.
As a 25 year-old I know that aspects of my behavior have definitely improved over the years, and maybe some haven't. No one is perfect, and I don't know anyone who I can confidently say follows all of the criteria of being a so-called adult (no offense). The aforementioned "criteria" is loose and changes to fit a person's needs for argument's sake.
It seems like whenever someone wants to make a
person look worse, they can play the adult card. "Oh,
grow up!" "You're just being immature." It's really easy to throw those
phrases around, take a person down a notch, and make yourself look
better. You're the one who is determining maturity so therefore you must be
mature. Right?
The definition hints at behavior by using the word "mind" once, but it mostly just talks about fruit.
My boyfriend, Matt uses the phrase, "Be a human" which at first sounds incredibly condescending (of course I'm a human, what are you talking about?), but is actually a much more fair request than "Be an adult." Since acting like a so-called adult is an ambiguous expectation, one should try to be a good human being. It's something you can do at any age.
Apparently I have to start taking photos of rotting fruit for iStock
Once in middle school I saw a girl crying over a break-up, and a male teacher took her aside and told her that because she was crying, it only proved that she was too immature to have a boyfriend. That interaction has stayed with me. I tried to imagine a future where men and women interacted with no conflicts, if only because they were able to hold it all inside and not rock the boat. If there was one bs thing adults always tried to convince kids, it was that adults take care of things with maturity, and maturity means no crying or whining. While it's best to avoid whining and crying, it's unrealistic that it can all be eliminated if we all just bucked up and acted like "adults" damn it!
Considering the concept of not crying over a break-up as the hallmark of adulthood and maturity, (and not the characteristic of a sociopath) I think everyone can agree that no matter how old you are, a break-up is a break-up, and if being an adult means being a robot that amicably shakes hands with a lover as they tell you they found someone new, then I guess being an adult and being human are two completely different things.
Obviously people just do random things to each other. If they're lucky the action sticks, grows in popularity and becomes a trend - and not a really awkward moment they will never live down. A simple explanation like that can be the only answer to why passing a newborn baby through a rind of cheese was ever popular.
According to the Encyclopedia of Superstitions, during the middle ages women would make a "groaning cheese" upon becoming pregnant, which would age for 9 months. Once the baby was born, the family and friends of the mother would eat the wheel of cheese, leaving a rind behind at the time of Christening. On the Christening day, the baby would be passed through the rind of the cheese.
The encyclopedia of Superstitions could not answer why it was called a groaning cheese, and like most odd trends from that long ago, it is explained people thought it would bring good luck, (obvi) but did not further explain why they would believe such a silly thing. You know, prosperity, and wealth, and good health, and good... just good things, all the good things. Stuff the Christening didn't cover.
On that fateful first day the baby could have been passed through anything.
I'm thinking watermelon rind, ribcage of a pig, dunked in a wine barrel,
large hollowed out loaf of bread; any and all of the major food groups.
Maybe somewhere else other foods were experimented with, but the cheese
just stuck, and a ridiculous tradition gained some respect for a while.
I swear someone's uncle must have gotten really drunk and thought it would be funny to put the baby in the empty cheese rind after the party. To save embarrassment the family insisted to friends it was an important ritual. Then everyone else wanted to be cool.
Or maybe it was some kind of Pinterest-esq idea a woman had. Just the simple thought of a common denominator between things (9 months in this case), and you got an adorable rustic foodie craft project.
Nowadays she would have made a post explaining how she can make this cheese that takes 9 months to age, and omg how perfect is it that the pregnancy will be just as long! There would be a compelling time-lapse video of her belly growing and the cheese doing it's cheese thing. It would end with an Instagram shot of her and her wax moustachioed husband passing the baby through the cheese as everyone laughs and drinks cocktails out of mason jars.
Then everyone else wanted to be cool.
I'm going to Pin this photo on to a board titled "Newborn Craft Ideas"
Also people just do weird stuff to their kids. This photo above is not of a frozen fetus, though it is a sculpture of one. This is a recent development in pre-birth keepsakes. It's called "Shape of an Angel": you simply have an MRI, and a company in Japan will make a life-sized 3D resin print of your womb and fetus. By the way, I never knew the womb was that angular.
Do I wish my parents had the technology to do this for my birth? Yes. It is creepy, however, ultrasound photos are always pretty grainy, and all babies look the same right when they come out, so your first photo is relatively unremarkable. This though, is a completely accurate copy of yourself at a time you definitely wont remember, your parents otherwise could never envision, and therefore need to commemorate in the most vivid way possible. Right now it costs over $1000 to do, but this could possibly catch on and be just another bizarre tradition in welcoming new humans into this world.
I thought taking a week-long vacation in San Fransisco and not watching documentaries would leave me without a proper blog post. Thankfully I was totally wrong.
A photo I took last week on the Golden Gate Bridge, San Fransisco, CA
Walking the 45 minute journey across the Golden Gate Bridge, I saw the sign pictured above. Then my memory was sparked: oh yeah. I'm standing on suicide central.
About a year ago I saw the 2006 film, The Bridge, which investigates the high rate of suicides off the windy and treacherous (I now know from experience) Golden Gate Bridge. Filming for 10,000 hours in 2004 director Eric Steel managed to capture 23 jumps. He gathered interviews from witnesses and family members of the victims. Steel said in a filming application for the Golden Gate National Recreation Area that he intended "to capture the powerful, spectacular
intersection of monument and nature that takes place every day at the
Golden Gate Bridge." This was only partially the truth; he was directly inspired to film the bridge by the 2003 New Yorker article Jumpers.
The opening sequence is Koyaanisqatsi-esq in it's concentrated footage of one object, sometimes sped up, focusing on people interacting with the bridge, with no narration; just music. The people laugh and walk, kite board, take photos, work construction. Some stop and look out at the magnificent view or pause to touch the metal cables. The frequency of these close shots increase, and the pause for contemplation starts to seem more sinister, or sad. The tension builds. Finally one of the people looking out... jumps.
"More people die by suicide at the Golden Gate Bridge than at any other site in the world."
"By 2005, this count exceeded 1,200 and new suicides were occurring about once every two weeks."
"The California Highway Patrol removed 70 apparently suicidal people from the bridge [in 2006]."
"As of 2006, only 26 people are known to have survived the jump."
"After a fall of approximately four seconds, jumpers hit the water at around 75 mph or approximately 120 km/h."
"The fatality rate of jumping is roughly 98%."
The blue crisis counseling sign -- which was the only one I saw -- is damaged and worn. It expresses a hopelessness. Obviously people have been fecklessly putting stickers over it; the sign's message helpless to permanent defacement as some remove the stickers in vain to keep the message visible. It says the problem is too big for the tiny sign to solve. Below is The Bridge in its entirety.
Have you ever seen films and photos from the turn of the 20th century and scoffed at how simple-minded people must have been? Some stereoscopes of cats dressed in people clothes... hours of fun right? Pfft! What would you do, just look at a still photo and laugh to yourself or with friends, and just move onto the next image? What's that about? I bet after the ego stroking remarks you make, you almost feel like their innocence should be revered and respected, because feeling such hubris about your own young mind can only lead to some kind of big gotcha-moment in the near future where our brains melt from all the stimulation, and the ghosts of the past smirk at us beyond the grave, and then we feel so embarrassed...
Well, at the turn of the 21st century, with the progression of the world wide web, decades of Oscar-winning films, and the mores of comedy changing and advancing all the time, some of the most popular and enjoyable videos available are no more intricate or thought provoking than those of the previous century.
Lately I've found myself on Buzzfeed.com at least five times a day. It's really too captivating. The site is full of very quick, silly, insightful, bits of news and observations, owing much of their material to photos and videos of cute animals. While they have a section of their site dedicated to the squeezy-fuzzyuzums, those images sneak their way into most categories of news and information (much to my delight).
Time to time, as I watch a 5 minute long video of a duck chewing on grass, giggling like a 1 year old with keys dangling in front of them, I will remember my favorite movies: Magnolia, Rushmore, Blue Velvet. I do have a refined palate! Don't I?
Why am I so enthralled with animals doing such banal things? Take for example the video below, Hamlet the Mini Pig- Goes Down the Stairs. On the very surface, this is a pig walking down the stairs. The dramatic theme is Hamlet's hunger (for that oatmeal) which drives him to defy all odds and go down the stairs. The nuts and bolts of this film, really, is a pig walking down the stairs.
It is one of the best things I have ever seen and it has over 1 million hits on YouTube.
What it comes down to is, amid all the fast-paced music videos and
plot-twisting feature films, it is a timeless fact that humans want to relate to animals. We enjoy seeing animals do things that remind us of ourselves. We can't know what
animals are thinking, so when they do something silly, we appreciate
the moment as a fluke. That's why I can watch a pig attempt to walk down
the stairs for a solid minute. Watching a tiny animal struggle to adapt to a household object humans have mastered
is cute. It's cute because the animal has it's situational short-comings, which reminds us of
our differences, but their determination is something we both share.
It
warms a place in everyone's heart to see animals living life and trying new things,
not just hanging around like a lump.
I could sit on my ass and watch that for hours.
Directed by Bart Layton, The Imposter documents a bizarre true story about a Texas child who went missing in 1994, and turned up in Spain three years later. His homecoming raised suspicions about his identity and intentions.
There's nothing better than a good true-crime drama that has been described as "A full-blown American Gothic horror." After watching the trailer, it seems like this film has the most cinematic reenactments out of any documentary, EVER.
Definitely a must see! Coming to theaters August 24th 2012.
This weekend I saw Tim Burton's Dark Shadows. Right before the previews first came out, and three months before it premiered, I wrote a blog post about remembering the 60's supernatural TV series, Dark Shadows. I found out about the most recent Burton/Depp project while researching for that post. At the time I was excited that someone was giving this cult TV show props, especially if Tim Burton was doing it. However, upon seeing the film, I was pretty disappointed. This blog post is not going to be about me complaining that the TV show was better than the movie. You have to forgive Burton for truncating the story to fit a film format, it never works out perfectly for any project like this. Though I greatly enjoyed it, I am no where near an expert on the TV series to go on and on about the possible discrepancies in the film. My grievances lie in the low-brow jokes and disproportionate focus on the time period the film was set in.
not amused
At least 50% of the film was dedicated to cracks at the 1970s, and Barnabas's
amusing struggles to acclimate. Dark Shadows the TV series was filmed in the late 1960s and
early 1970s, but they did not acknowledge popular culture of the time, certainly not
Alice Cooper, as spooky as he may be. It was set in present day, which happens to now be 40 years in the past. If Donnie Darkocan be set in 1985, and actually be about a supernatural phenomenon, Dark Shadows can be a movie that just happens to be set in the 70s, and therefore be authentic to the TV series in that aspect.
Burton also focused on 70's pop hits that contain relevant lyrical themes in relation to the film, instead of using the awesome original theme music of the TV show.
I hadn't seen Dark Shadows in years. Curious about how the TV show and movie plots compared, I looked up the episode synopsis
on Wikipedia. With over one thousand episodes, and dizzying plot points
that include a "Stairway into Time" built by a ghost, it became very
clear that as eerie and grave as the show tried to be, it was quite absurd, even for a supernatural drama.
Trying to translate this into a serious film today would either render the original
plot unusable, or completely alienate audiences. It seems as though the
slap-stick path Burton lead was a lesser evil. When you wipe away all the yucks about disco balls and being stoned, what's left of Dark Shadows is an extremely thin plot that resembles the TV series on the most basic levels.
If you ever thought you had absorbed all there was to learn and see about Germany during Hitler's rule, think again. This ain't no Ken Burns documentary. If you love film, photography, and history, you must watch Third Reich: The Rise & Fall.
A 2010 two part miniseries directed by Nicole Rittenmeyer and Seth Skundrick, Third Reich uses propaganda films, historical documentation, and most importantly, home movies and smuggled footage that has never been viewed in America, or that is still banned in Germany. Rittenmeyer and Skundrick also directed my favorite 911 documentary, 102 Minutes That Changed America,
a documentary entirely using the personal footage and rare news footage of
the Twin Tower attacks, composed in real time, starting moments before the
first plane hit, and ending as the last tower fell. Much in the style of revered nuclear bomb documentary, Atomic Cafe,
there is no narrative, except the voices behind the cameras. If you are a fan of either Atomic Cafe or102 Minutes, Third Reich has a similar use of found film, though unlike the other two, there is a narrator and voice-overs of diary entries and letters.
It is also exciting to see so much color footage in this WWII documentary. Color film did exist in the 1930s, though expensive and rare, seeing the people and destruction in living color brings it to a reality that I have yet to become jaded over. Black and white causes a separation; today it is a stylistic choice and an understood limitation of the past, so there is an undertone of stoicism in every image. Color images taken during time periods we most associate with black and white are the most compelling and relatable.
The home movie footage adds a soul to the German people, that is not often seen in WWII documentaries. It is easy to get used to documentaries that rely on interviews and re-use footage and images whenever possible. Third Reich breaks all the expectations. Aside from the expected images of death, scenes like the home movie footage of a soldier's autobiographical puppet show/pyro fantasy are particularly disturbing. Ranging from endearing family moments to shockingly grizzly scenes of death, Third Reich is so intimate and candid, you are constantly left amazed at what you behold.
These are the 11 movies I've seen out of the 50 listed in IFC.com's 50 Greatest Sex Scenes in Cinema. It's a fun list to read, but to my disappointment I had only seen eleven out of the fifty movies. Therefore, I knew this would make me less than qualified to argue over this list. I only have one legitimate issue about the compilation, so hear me out.
If you want to know how qualified this film is for a higher spot
on the list, just hit play on the video above. The first frames, let
alone the first five minutes are filled with a love scene that sets the
tone for the whole movie.
The film creates a collision of teenage and adult concepts of love, presented in gut-wrenching realism. The love scenes are raw and unflinching, without cuts, and are shot in real time - so to speak. There's no pretending that these teen boys can handle such activity; they only last about a minute.
As for the specific scene IFC mentions as number 13 on their list, it was certainly a tremendous surprise ending and appropriate conclusion (don't read the description on their list if you want to watch the full film without spoilers). However, that particular scene is cut way too short. The best scene is when Luna and Verdú's character's finally get it on, mixing Verdú's almost motherly guidance with Luna's teenage eagerness, that begins with child-like shyness and crescendos to him impulsively and strategically kicking away a secondary motel bed in a surprising act of bravado.
What is the worst thing that could happen to someone who has tons of money, never been told no, and has enough hubris leaking out of their butt to start a Greek tragedy fire?
Directed by Helen Stickler in 2002, this documentary delves into mid 1980s professional skate culture, explaining the conditions that could cause a horrific crime such as the rape and murder of Jessica Bergsten in 1991 by pro-skateboarder, Mark "Gator" Rogowski.
Stickler paints a picture of a young man thrown into fame in a niche culture, where his persona as an arrogant teen was praised and rewarded. After climbing to fame in the late 1980s as a vert skateboarder, Rogowski's behavior moved from typical teen antics to erratic manic behavior in addition to alcoholism. Street style skateboarding over took vert skating, and Rogowski had trouble catching up. After Rogowski and his girlfriend Brandi broke up, he lashed out on an old friend of hers, Jessica Bergsten; a woman he considered responsible for Brandi leaving him.
Rogowski phones in his interview from prison as he serves a life sentence. Since California law prohibits live interviews with inmates serving a life sentence, Rogowski's current appearance is left a mystery, save a couple candid shots near the end of the film, taken in prison at undisclosed dates. Stickler inundates the audience with images of Rogowski in his twenties: cocky, attractive, talented, funny, charismatic. Then every once in a while we are ripped back to reality, hearing Rogowski's voice crackling through the phone, haggard by regret. A major theme in this film is that nothing lasts forever, and it is particularly poignant to see the vestiges of Rogowski's fame, youth, and vitality remain only in old footage, while he currently has virtually no identity.
This film is an excellent time capsule of the late 80s. It presents the neon punk attitude of the time, and injects it with a serious reality check.
Keep watching at the end of the credits, it shows the transcripts of police interviews with Gator, and a taped interview at a skating event.
Remember when you could see something like this and not think anything of it? It was the 90s and it was all we knew. It may have even been considered cool. Looking to the future is what we always hope to do, but honestly, when you live in the present you think about it as the pinnacle of your time. This can be said of any decade and generation, but as someone born in the late 1980s, the 90s was the beginning of my reality.
It's no doubt Kids in the Hall were very aware of the ridiculous nature of the - then current - 90s style, and they made a cunning parody of it. However, when we lived the 1990s (or during anytime - even presently) you have to admit, it was difficult to imagine how life would ever be different in the future. We were at the top of our game as far as we were concerned. If the future would lead to differences in our culture it could only logically move from plaid shirts and scrunchies right to silver clothes and flying cars.
circa 1997
Well... I guess we got some of that prediction right.
Of course we are 12 years deep into the 21st century, and it's pretty much just now-ish that I'm stepping back and looking at the 1990s, thinking, "Really? I can't believe I wore that." or "I can't believe we thought that was cool." In the early 2010s the 1990s have come back into fashion, in clothing at least. I have a feeling we're not going to see the 90s style in design and media come back en vogue for a little while longer.
It's really easy to ridicule the past. Hind sight is 20/20 right? Making fun of current cultural norms takes objectivity and an ability to step back and not take yourself too seriously. For instance, check out this music video Chris Rock made in 1997. He unabashedly pokes fun at rap and R&B from that era. He nails the excess, the money, the Lil' Kim inspired wigs, the trash bag outfit Missy Elliott wore in her video for The Rain (amazing song, and the video is also a perfect time capsule for the late 90s).
It was funny to me then, but it's even funnier now for two reasons. Rock has a valid point that the style from that era was over the top, and with hindsight being 20/20 it's not hard to laugh at it. Rock was also able to see it for what it was right then and there. I laugh at videos from the 90s but I laugh with Chris Rock's Champagne.
The best example of this in comedy today is Portlandia. The sketch comedy show created by Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein is my new favorite thing to watch. They get the characters so spot-on. Armisen is a genius with mannerisms, he doesn't miss a beat. I would just put all their video clips in this post because most of them prove my point, but I don't want to give you all carpal tunnel from scrolling, so here is one clip from the most recent episode.
We live in a culture of instant nostalgia, which means we are extremely aware of what is in, what is out, what is totally last week, and what becomes more and more attractive as it's pulled farther away from us. I can't speak for any decade's views before the 1990s, as far as awareness of collective cultural quirks, but it is clear this is a recent development in our culture. Generally we are savvy in knowing what we are like.
